Expiration date...

Maybe it's because I'm a cynic. Maybe I'm surrounded by too many failed relationships. Maybe I haven't found 'the one'. But whenever I'm with a guy and it's going really well, I can't help but thinking 'how long until it's over?'. 

Maybe it's because deep down I know that this guy is not 'the one the one'. The one that makes you pee your pants from nerves of excitement. The one that gives you butterflies. The one that never fails to give you attention. The one that will some day make you walk down the aisle...of Baskin Robbins, without making you feel guilty about it. 

Perhaps our ideal version of Mr. Right is completely twisted and doesn't exist on planet Earth. The reality is it's a man not play dough. Unfortunately we can't shape it the way you want. And you should never try to change a man (it always ends in disaster). 

LIke Dora, let's keep swimming and see what we fish this week.

^^melocoton^^

Playing hard to get

Me: I want to call him...

Friend: So call him!

Me: I don´t want to be clingy!

Friend: You´re not being clingy, you´re just offering sex!

No Strings Attached

I just saw the movie 'No String Attached' and I couldn't help but think 'can you just be sex friends?' without the emotional bla bla. If so, how long could it last? 


They are nice to have around and even better when they live just right around the corner. But how long before the line gets blurry between sex buddies and something more? Is it wrong to date your sex buddy? I know lots of people who have them and have no trouble distinguishing the difference. They have no emotional connection to this person whatsoever. Some of them even keep them on speed dial. But the sex is so good so they keep him around. If the sex is good, why not start something more? Are they worried that it would ruin everything? Is it impossible to have a great sex and emotional partner built in one? 


I recently met a guy who seems interesting but it seems he's turned out to be my very own sex buddy. He never sleeps over and I only see him under the cover of darkness. Perhaps that's all he wants. He hasn't called in days. I think it's time to pick up the phone or find some new ones. 


^^melocoton^^

Yo te amo (I love you)

Super cute, even if you don't understand Spanish.

Older and wiser

To follow up on the marriage theme as in melocotons latest post, I thought I´d give you my opinion on the matter. I have a friend from high school, well we´ve more or less drifted apart since then, mainly because I think on some level she is still in high school, if you understand what I mean... She´s constantly going from one serious relationship to another, everytime being more in love than the last, convinced that this time it´s forever. She´s been engaged seven (7) times, once she got engaged twice within a period of two months. The reason I came to think of all of this is because I just read on facebook a couple of days ago that she´s now on number eight. (That´s a lot of engagement rings, wonder if she´s kept them all... She could just have them melted down and make one giant super ring. Sorry, mind drifted off for a while.) To me, I just can´t help but wondering what is missing in her life that she needs to fill it out with this "romantic gesture" everytime? Or is it just that she wants to show to everyone that she is worthy of being in a relationship? That she´s not some single loser who can´t get a boyfriend (please note that this is not how I feel about single people, being one of them myself I know that most single people are awesome ;) ). The other question that comes to mind is, does she tell the guys about her past relationships, if so does the guy still feel special after learning that she´s already done this seven times before?

I do believe in marriage, and call me lame, but I do believe that there is a special someone out there for everyone (or special someones, I don´t believe you just get one soulmate, but more on that another time). I think the problem is that people are just too scared to get out there and look for him/her, that´s why divorce rates are so high, they do it too fast without thinking, without exploring their options properly. You shouldn´t get married when your´re 20. When I was 20 I thought I knew everything, exactly who I was and how my life was going to turn out. Now ten years later (yes, now you know how old I am), I laugh at the 20 year old me and think; sweetheart, you didn´t have a clue! All the things (good and bad) that happened leading up to where I am today, I never could have guessed it. But I needed it all because it made me into the person I am today, the person that I love being so much more than being the 20 year old me. And as for the guys that the 20 year old me dated, most of them 30 year old me wouldn´t touch with a stick. Since I am friends with them on facebook, and therefor know how their lives tunred out I can be sure of this fact. We were in a similar place at the time but now we couldn´t be further apart. Lives change constantly, people who keep moving grow and develope, and it is almost always a good thing, necessary for our own well being. The people who just hold on to their lives as they are I believe are just scared of what would happen if they tried out living instead of just staying alive. People from my past told me how brave I was for moving to Barcelona all by myself a couple of years ago, not knowing anyone or even speaking the language. But to me it was just necessary, basic survival strategy, if I had stayed where I was I would have died, at least emotionally if not physically. I hated my life as it was, gray, monotonous, everyday looked the same. Same people doing the same things. Now my life has color and movement, and I love what I do almost every day. So do I consider myself brave, not really. I mean it was a little scary the first few days in a new country before you got settled, but to me this wasn´t some great big adventure, it was just a natural development of my life. Me going where I was suppose to go, finding my place in life. Of course my life will keep changing and in ten years from now I will probably look back at the 30 year old me, smile and go; oh honey, so naive...

The Owner of a Broken Heart

Everyone has a different perspective on marriage and who should get married. I for one have never really thought of getting married or considered it an option. Perhaps it has to do something with my parents splitting up when I was very little. I guess I lost faith in the whole idea of two people spending the rest of their lives together in eternal happiness. Although it sure is a good reason to rake up your credit card bill and for one night life the life of a superstar. Recently this idea of marriage keeps surfacing my thought bank. 


I for one am not so close with my family. It's kind of just how it happened. Having grown up with separated parents at a very young age taught me to be many things: independent, strong and self sufficient. I recently spoke to my older brother who I haven't spoken to in months and months. Sadly the call was to inform me that he and his wife of 2+ years are splitting up. I was in utter shock. I had no idea what to say. What do you say to a person who is going through legal proceedings because his wife has been having an affair. For how long? I have no idea? With whom? I didn't dare ask. Does it matter? An affair is an affair. I feel sorry for the guy. I thought their marriage would restore my hope in the idea of marriage. I guess the truth is that we are all human and all we can do is take each day for what it is. 


It makes me very nervous when I see young people getting married. What's the rush? This generation is going through so much change. Who knows what will happen in the future. Sure, call me cynic but do you need to get married to make it real? Does true love need two rings and an expensive dinner?


Speaking of love, the biggest shock to me was hearing that Arnold Scwarzenneger and his wife Maria Shriver are splitting up after 25 years. Here's a couple I thought that were truly in love. But the reality is as time passes people change and your goals and ambitions change with the passing of time. Who you were and the dreams you had when you were 20 might not align with the person you're with and the ambitions you have as you get older. That's a fact of life. 


In the olden days you would jump over a broom holding your partners hand and ta-dah! You were married. Now days it's just another item on your credit card bill.


If 60% of marriages end in divorce, why get married? 


^^melocoton^^

How long is too long - reply

I´m beginning to doubt I´ll ever find someone I can stand being around everyday for years and years and not go crazy. I need my freedom, without it I cannot breathe. A sign the relationship has been going on too long is (based on personal experience) when you mourn the end of it for about a day and then spend the rest of the time constraining yourself from spontaneously bursting into a victory dance shouting "I´m free!!! I´m free!!!!!"

I think sometimes we just cling on to a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. The sparks are gone but we keep trying to re-ignite them. Romantic trips, date nights, or in worse cases by getting married or having kids. I´ve been told I´m too picky, my expectations are too high and real life isn´t like a romantic movie with the happily ever after. And all these long term couples always have the same chant in common, relationships are hard, you need to work on them, bla bla bla... But what if relationships aren´t supposed to be hard, what if he/she just isn´t the one for you? Maybe the romance is gone because you´re just not that into each other anymore and maybe it´s just time to move on.

Corazon

How long is too long?

When I say how long I'm not referring to his dick size. For some it's of utmost importance. For others it more about girth than width. And for others the perfect size makes all the difference. But that's not what I'm here to write about today. How long should you continue in a dysfunctional relationship before you call it quits? 


It starts off great and you go for weeks with these butterflies that won't seem to go away. But eventually these butterflies fly away. Where do they go? On to the next guy? I was talking to a friend yesterday who ended a 2 month relationship. The sparks were gone. Will they ignite again? It made me wonder how do you keep the fires burning in the relationship or does the fire burn out as you start to discover the itty bitty details of the other person? What made you like this person in the first place? Was it love at first sight or was it lust? Or perhaps it's a bit of both. We all have different dating habits. Some of us like the attention and when the other person doesn't give us the attention we need, we drift away while others like their personal time and need that alone time each week to be sane. So when is the right time to move away? I guess we all have different variables but a good point to start thinking is when you stop missing having the other person around.


With so many men out there, the thought that floats through my mind is 'will we ever find someone that's just right?'. 


^^melocoton^^

Are open relationships the new Chinos?

Why is it that open relationships seem more fashionable now days than key summer garments like chinos? Everywhere you look (mostly online) people are ready to admit and leave it out on the open that they are in an open relationship and what may come may come. The first question that comes to my mind is why be in a relationship if you want it open?! As with any transaction there must be perks right? So you live together, share a life together but someday should you get lonely or your hormones go off the charts and you happen to meet some charmer on the streets or in a bar or behind the trash can then it's perfectly okay for you to sleep with him or do whatever your heart desires without hurting your partner. Is that right? I don't know which is worse. Openly 'cheating' on your partner or being in this relationship all together. Whatever happened to love?! True unconditional love. The can't sleep, can't breathe, can't be apart from each other, unequivocal love. I in fact know of a couple in an open relationship. They have been together for many years now and I guess the intimacy needs a bit of spicing up. I'm not one for following rules. In fact I think when it comes to life, relationships and everything in between, you should make your own rules. Do what works for you. Do what your heart tells you. But I still can't wrap my head around the idea of an open relationship. I personally think that if the discussion should arise in my personal situation it would be a reason to call off the relationship. Because the truth is I'm looking for that long lasting foreverness and I think it's hard to find now days. Who knows if we'll ever be happy but the naive person inside of me continues with hope and spirit. Are you open to the idea of an open relationship?!