No boundaries...

I know this is supposed to be the year of slutting it up but even i have my limits. In fact I'm really terrible at being a slut. I think it must be my conscience. I'm very picky and that's not a slut trait. I think other people are better at this. It comes naturally to them. But I'm ok with that. I have my boundaries and I'm glad I do. Let met tell you about last night.

It was way into the wee hours of the morning around 4am, while I was waiting for the N4 bus. The streets were wet, calm and quiet after a rainy night. The air was fresh as can be. Which made waiting for the bus not much of a chore. But this calm moment lasted only for a very brief moment until a guy arrived at the bus stop. He seemed normal. I naturally figured he was just waiting for the bus just like me, naturally. That is until he asked me to give him a blow job. I was in shock for a brief moment. Was he serious? How crazy. His question was like a shot of oxygen that sobered me completely. I beg you pardon? If he asked me under 'normal' circumstances I may have considered but this was just highly inappropriate, considering the location, and totally out of the blue. Just another sign that this city is very sexually frustrated. One can conclude that there is no right place nor time for the slut at heart. But that's not how I roll. He did not stop even after I said 'no'. He proceeded to pull down his pants. Are you in state of shock right now? It gets better. He whipped out his dick and started tossing it around. What is he making? A salad? Definitely don't want that dressing on it. What's wrong with this guy. No common decency. I didn't budge. I still said 'no'. And luckily his performance came to a quick halt as the bus approached.

One of the most bizarre nights of my life to date. Who knows maybe the guy is at the cafe from which I'm writing this. I barely remember what he looks like. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. 

^^melocoton^^

You always need a wingman/woman...

I'm not a fan of internet dating. It's sad that it has come to that. I guess with our busy lives and busy lifestyles it doesn't leave much room for meeting people the traditional way. Come to think of it, what is the traditional way? Being introduced to someone? Randomly meeting someone at a cafe? Well one thing if for sure. I'm not traditional. 


Recently I met someone online and we started talking. He seemed really nice. Just one odd thing. He always looked down in his photos so I had no clear idea of what he looked like. We finally arranged to meet. I showed up at our meeting spot and oddly enough he wasn't there. I waited and waited and finally dropped him a message. It seems that he was in the line to the disco. Bad first impression already. 


I make my way to the disco and paid 15Eur entrance and eventually found him. You can imagine how challenging it must be to find someone you've never met at a disco with barely any lights. It was a bit of texting back and forth.
 'Are you wearing a white polo?'
'Are you at the bar?'
'Are you wearing a g string?'


Always trust your instincts. We finally found each other (not like lost soul mates) but we literally found each other. Sure he was nice and friendly. Not bad looking. Slightly nerdy. Funny dance moves. We barely spoke. Danced. I felt awkward. I was at a disco I don't normally like to go to. It's usually full of up tight, primitive, muscle gays. Not my kind of place. So after an hour of this awkwardness I made an executive decision to get the hell out. I could not last any longer. Expensive night. But you live and learn. 


Good thing the metro is open 24/7 on Saturdays. It was time to put an end to this night. 


This is why you always need a wingman/woman. To rescue you.


The dating continues...


^^melocoton^^

Sell crazy some place else, we´re all stocked up here!

I just had to update you on this unexpected turn of event. My stalker is back! The last I heard from my him was last week, a few days before new years when he sent me a very angry message thanking me for the education, not only for lying to him but also for not responding to his messages. What lies he was referring to I have no idea. True I came up with some excuse why I couldn´t meet up with him the week before, although how would he know that was a lie? Doesn´t make sense. But neither does stalker boy. What I educated him in, well maybe that girls can be assholes too?? Cause I admit being 40 minutes late for a first date and then just stop responding to someones texts is kind of an assholish thing to do. Fair enough. On the other hand guys do this to girls all the time and nobody cares, why shouldn´t I be able to do it once?

Anyway, at first I felt guilty, but the more pshycho his texts became the less I cared. So last I heard from him was about a week ago, the angry text that ended with a gracias y adios! He didn´t show up in the bar on new years eve, as I had feared (yes he knows where I work, that´s how we met) so I so naively thought it was over. Rookie mistake! It´s not over until at least 3 months have gone by without as much as a late night text, or until you´ve changed your number. Those are the official date stalker rules! This morning I woke up to the following text message (briefly translated from spanish):

How are you? Would you like to do something? I could come pick you up in the car (!!! yeah, don´t think I´m getting in a car with you sweetheart...) or we could meet up somewhere, whenever you want...

Just like nothing happened! Even though I´ve met my fair share of the crazy boys (in fact I´m pretty sure I´ve met someone elses fair share too) it still amazes me how they can go from being seriously pissed off in one text to acting completely sane and normal in the next. These aren´t people who are locked up in an institution somewhere, these are people with normal jobs, normal apartments, walking around in the streets with the rest of us. So the next time you walk down the street, and you see some guy playing with his iphone, beware, he might actually be cyberstalking some poor girl who broke his heart.

Ok, enough with the crazy for today. I can´t believe not even a week has gone by of the new year and already it has been this, to say the least, eventful. Can´t wait to see what´s in store for the next 51 weeks.

Kisses, "Corazón"

The year of the slut

The thing is even if I were to meet my future husband right now, I wouldn´t be able to handle it, I´d just be pissed off, like; where the fuck have you been???

So new years eve I spent with my dear melocotón, sharing a couple of bottles of wine and cava, summing up the past year. After midnight I headed off to work to serve drinks until the late morning. A lot of our regulars were there and it was just a lot of fun. We were all drinking and dancing...and making out.... Well, that last part would have been yours truly. Since melocotón and I decided 2011 should be the year of random sexual encounters, or at least a lot of kissing of the boys, and I do believe that the way you start off the year sets the karma for the rest of the year, so I ended up making out with one of our regulars. Cute boy with the strongest latino accent, I couldn´t understand a word he was saying to me... But that´s ok, no need to talk sweetheart. Anyway, later on, while zipping on a couple of mojitos I explained to my boss about the upcoming year of sluttiness. He liked the idea, being quite the slut himself, I mean he runs a bar in Barcelona, that´s the way to get laid right there. We ended up making out in the storage room. Now, I can see why some people would consider it harassment if you boss drags you into the storage room and sticks his hand inside your bra. However I don´t think it qualifies as harassment if you actually want him too so... It was fantastic, he´s a very good kisser. (We had a little thing earlier this summer as well so I already knew what I was in for) Ah, older men, I´m such a sucker for them, they´re experienced, confident, knows what they´re doing. Not too old though, my limit is around 15 years older, and they have to take care of themselves properly naturally. No flab por favor!

So that was pretty much my new years. Hope you had a good one as well. I wish you all out there a fantastic 2011 and I hope all your dreams come true this year!

Kisses, Corazón.

The Slut Factor

First off, a very Happy New Year from both of us! Hope you found someone magical to kiss at midnight. We unfortunately did not. I spent the countdown with my dear friend while we trashed our exes and all the horrible dates we had in 2010 while trying to be hopeful of the year to come. This is the year to unleash your inner Slut.  

Do you ever wonder how some people can just put it out there? First it starts with eye contact, then a passionate kiss followed by waking up next to a guy you don’t remember taking home. In fact you wonder if he was the one you started kissing to begin with. How is it that being a slut comes so easy to some people and yet so difficult for others. To retract...sometimes there is no eye contact. Some people just grab the first person they see...especially as the night goes on. I’m not endorsing being a slut but the fact of the matter is that on this journey of finding true love, a life partner or whatever else you want to call it, the more people you see the more favourable your chances. And if you’re single in a cosmopolitan town like Barcelona why shouldn’t you sleep around with everything that moves until you find the one?! Is that bad strategy. It brings me back to when my grade 5 teacher taught me the basics of probability. If you don’t play the game, you have no chance of winning. This city is so sex driven so what’s wrong with taking a piece of it. It’s just sex..and if it comes with cosmopolitans then even better!

In a city with 1.5million inhabitants, the odds are against you. Now boarding...the slut train! 

^^melocoton^^