Stalker is the new girlfriend

So tuesday night I went out for some much needed drinks with my dear friends that I hadn´t seen in forever. Wine, cheese, mojitos and a lot of catching up. The night ended with me running into and going home with this guy who allegedly had had a thing for me for a while (on another note so has his friend, the guy I sent my drunken facebook confession too a while back but that´s not important for this story). So anyway I ended up spending the night and the entire following day at his place, missing all wednesdays classes. For good reasons though, it had been four months people, four months! So anyway he kept feeding me the ususal asshole bullshit; I really like you, please stay and spend the day with me, I´d really like to see you again, maybe you can come visit me when I move. (He´s leaving the country in a few weeks. I know, I didn´t think this was like the beginning of some great romance, but at least it could be a fun two week thing.) So anyway, I made the biggest rookie mistake of all times and completely believed him. Omg, he really likes me, and he´s cute and funny, and a good kisser, bla bla bla... Then his phone starts ringing, and it turns out to be his recently made ex-girlfriend. Apparently they hadn´t really defined their relationship though; girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/open relationship... She kept calling and texting all throughout the day and he kept ignoring her. I was astounded by her intensity, personally, I have a three phone call rule, two if he´s just a date and not my boyfriend. Anymore than that and you´re a crazy stalker. And if you do fill the phone call quote, text messages are off limits. I swear there were about 20 missed phone calls and just as many text messages. Seriously sweetheart, where is your dignity? Anyway, later that night as I was getting ready to leave for an appointment, suddenly the door bell rings. You guessed it, it´s the girl. At first he refuses to open it, but as she goes more and more hysterical calling and ringing the doorbell like crazy, he eventually answers his phone to try to talk some sense into her and tell her he wasn´t alone. Not surprisingly this just triggered the crazy even more and she starts screaming and ringing the door bell even more. So in the end he had to let her in, she storms in, looks at me, does a very dramatic point towards the door and goes; Out! And for emphasis she does it again, the point towards the door and the; Out! I did what she said and left, normally I wouldn´t let crazy chicks dictate what I´m going to do but I was late for an appointment anyway and figured they had some things to work out. I found the whole thing hilarious though, haven´t seen such drama since high school, you gotta love the spanish women; grace and dignity aren´t the key words in handling relationship issues. I called Melocotón on my way down the stairs to share this hysterical turn of event and we agreed this was definetly one of the highlights of the week.

So anyway, you´d think after all this drama it would be normal for him to call or text me the next day to apologize and maybe clear some stuff out, but not a word. So friday I decided to send a text to see if he´s okay. It took four hours for him to reply, and it was very brief and not asking how I was doing. Just a "hope your ok too" at the end. My reply to that message stayed unanswered. Not a word. So my wondering is now, is he back with her and that´s the reason he won´t talk to me? What else could there be? Or am I being incredibly naive for believing the things he said to me while I was there? But I mean, he was getting laid anyway, no reason to feed me all that I-really-like-you-and-want-to-see-you-again-crap.

But what I´m mostly confused about is how could she be the one benefitting from this?? Are we doing this now, is crazy stalker the normal way to behave in a relationship? If so I didn´t get the memo. Apparently we´re leaving the age of The game and He´s just not that into you and entering the age of "the bunny boiler". So all you ladies out there with boundary issuses, psychopathic tendencies and complete lack of dignity and self respect, welcome, it appears your era has begun!

FUI - Facebooking under the influence

Just woke up after a night of way to much vino blanco, and way to many sent text messages, msn chats and facebook messages. Really there should be an alcolock installed on cell phones and computers, you know like on a car when you have to take a breathalyzer test to be able to start it. I always say that as a joke, but after last night I´m actually considering writing letters to Apple, Sony Ericsson, Samsung and any other company that makes these high risk machines that should never be operated under the influence of alcohol. Never!!

So last night, I decided that I needed to do something brave and honest that I´ve never actually done before. Because I always play The Game (no I´m not referring to the book with the same title, but just the oh so well known dating games in general). I pretend I´m not interested when I am, I play hard to get, wait for him to come after me. Well according to the regular game rules if a guy has had your number for over a month and hasn´t called you that means he´s just not that into you (love that book by the way, it´s my bible). However, being influenced by some friends, I came to the conclusion last night that he might not be calling because he just doesn´t think I´m that interested. (Cause girls aalllways give out their numbers to guys they´re not interested in, well actually I do, but that´s a different story for another time...) So being cheered on by a friend (male friend) I sent my guy a very honest message on facebook, telling him that I liked him and that I would like to go out with him. My friend told me: Just be honest and tell him you like him, don´t speak in riddles and say half of what you mean and let him guess the rest, like girls usually do. Guys hate that, really, it just leads to misunderstandings. Just be straight forward and honest!

So I was! I was feeling so good about myself last night, then I woke up this morning, sober... Oh dear God what have I done...?? Am I really that into him that it was worth sacrificing my dignity? Am I? Last night, that would have been a roaring yeeeesss!!! Today, ehm, maybe...? I´m afraid to log in to facebook to be hit with the humiliating truth. I´d really rather have him just ignore the message forever than tell me he´s not that into me.

Why do we do these things? Are we that desperate for someone to love us? Or is it just our egos that need a little attention? If I knew the answer to that I would be a wise woman.

Friend or Lover?

Can you date your friends? What about your friends friend? I recently started seeing a friend of a friend and I guess things will never be the same again. 


Well we've casually met a couple times before we started 'seeing' each other but now it is in that weird stage. Do we take the next step or do we fear ruining the friendship and go back to being just friends? The dilemma is that no matter what happens it will be impossible to avoid him. We both have mutual friends and as a result we'll run into each other at one point or another. So we had a mini talk and came to no conclusion and continue being in this grey zone, so to speak. He says that it seems like I'm more into him bla bla bla. So naturally I decided to give him some space. That means no calling, no texting, no facebooking...nada. zip. This is also code for playing the game. And I HATE games. 


It's been days of radio silence but last night he called me and invited me for drinks with his friends before I left for Christmas break. During the whole night he commented that I was acting weird. Perhaps I was. I guess in my mind I felt questions rolling through my head like Jeopardy. Where is this going? Am I here as your friend or something else? What did you tell these people about me? It's a strange feeling. I still have no idea where this is headed but I guess I should just not worry and take it as it comes. But of course that is easier said than done especially when you let your emotions do the talking.


There's a great old saying: Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts and you are the slave to your emotions


Hope you all have a good Christmas! 


^^melocoton^^