The perfect kitchen

A wise person once told me that I have this incredible need for freedom. Which is true. I need to be free, whether it comes to my job, my relationships, my living arrangements. The thought of buying a house, knowing that I´m going to live there until I die, makes me panic. I don´t want to know what my life will look like in 10 years, or 20 or 30. I need change and movement. I don´t need safety and comfort, it´s boring and makes me feel like I´m already dead. I thrive on the drama. Sometimes I get tired of it and I feel like I just want a break, and have a calm secure family life with the perfect kitchen, but when I get that or something like it, soon I hate it. It works for a while, and I can appreciate it but then I get bored with it. It´s not who I am. I need to travel and meet new people and be messy. I don´t need a perfect kitchen, there´s no life in a perfect kitchen. I want a job where I can be creative and work on the high that comes with it for 14 hours straight, then go to bed and sleep for 12 hours to get up again and do something completely different, then my soul will be happy. I want to travel, find new places and inspiration, meet new people. I don´t mind having a set point that is my home that I can return to when I need some rest and alone time. But I need to have the option of being able to leave whenever I want to.

Even such simple things as sitting around a dinner table making everyday conversation with your family every night freaks me out. And that seems to be something very important in the average life of your average family. I should proably never have children, I would be a horrible mother, dragging them around the world, making them eat at irregular hours. When grocery shopping becomes the big family event of the week that would be the epidome of misery to me.

So maybe this is why I´m still single. My soul mates (I believe we have more than one person out there that we share a spiritual connection with) are all the same as me. We need to be free, and every time we end up in a relationship we freak out thinking that we´re going to be tied down forever, and is this really the person we want to be tied down to?? So it would make sense that I`m always drawn to the assholes that ends up not answering my phone calls and just disappear from my life mysteriously forever. We´re the same. Whenever I´ve been in a relationship with a sweet average guy who just wants to buy a house and raise a family with me, well the countdown has begun from the very first kiss. I can´t do it, I´m sorry, were just too different, we want different things. I mean the fact that I left the country after my last serious relationship pretty much sums it all up.

Like I´ve said before I would like to meet a perfect someone and get married, I just want that someone to also not want the average life where every week looks the same year after year. Someone who is also restless and need to move or he´ll die. Is there such a someone??

Oh Romeo, Romeo, where the fuck art thou Romeo??

xx Corazon