Zero tolerance

I´ve recently discovered that I have a zero tolerance policy for bullshit these days. It dawned on me when I was having a conversation with my ex, and he was asking for my advice regarding his new stormy relationship. The girl he´s with has mood swings and irrational demands on him and their relationship on a level that makes my PMS-symptoms seem like a mild summer breeze (and bear in mind, I have been guilty of the occasional death threat during that time of the month... ) And her behavior isn´t just constrained to one week of the month, this is a 24 hour on going circus in their life apparently. So anyway, he tells me all this and how stressed he is about it, and he asks what to do. Now I just can´t help but feeling this sense of incredible frustration. Just kick her out!! For God´s sake! Stop taking so much crap! Don´t you have any self respect??

I think the reason I´m having this strong reaction is because I used to be that girl, no not the crazy knife throwing bunny boiler, I meant that girl as in, the one who used to take all the crap. I was always thinking, if I just change a little bit more, if I just become perfect, then he will change too because then he will love me and everything will be fantastic. So I changed, and changed and tried harder and harder to become someone that he thought I should be. In the end I didn´t even recognize myself anymore, I was just playing the part of the perfect girlfriend. After I hit rock bottom and left my last destructive relationship I´ve become a lot more aware of what I want and who I am. And today I would never let anyone tell me who I should be or what I should do. I like who I am and if someone has a problem with any part of me, well, that´s just it, their problem. I can´t be responsible for your feelings, so you go deal with it!

If I´m with someone who needs me to be any of the following; their therapist, their mother and/or their cleaning lady, move along! We´re done! I´d rather be alone than in a relationship where I´m miserable more than 50% of the time. Don´t waste my time please, I got stuff to do!

Why gamle?

In the words of our dearest Carrie Bradshaw, 'if you know the house always wins, why gamble?'. This could work in many situations but I think what she means is that if you know that love hurts then why even bother? I guess there is no real answer to that other than never try never know. And even though the house eventually always wins you play the game hoping it's your lucky day. The trying may have consequences and side effects but without trying there is no crying. We are all hopeless (romantics). 
-melocoton

Yo te amo (I love you)

Super cute, even if you don't understand Spanish.

Are open relationships the new Chinos?

Why is it that open relationships seem more fashionable now days than key summer garments like chinos? Everywhere you look (mostly online) people are ready to admit and leave it out on the open that they are in an open relationship and what may come may come. The first question that comes to my mind is why be in a relationship if you want it open?! As with any transaction there must be perks right? So you live together, share a life together but someday should you get lonely or your hormones go off the charts and you happen to meet some charmer on the streets or in a bar or behind the trash can then it's perfectly okay for you to sleep with him or do whatever your heart desires without hurting your partner. Is that right? I don't know which is worse. Openly 'cheating' on your partner or being in this relationship all together. Whatever happened to love?! True unconditional love. The can't sleep, can't breathe, can't be apart from each other, unequivocal love. I in fact know of a couple in an open relationship. They have been together for many years now and I guess the intimacy needs a bit of spicing up. I'm not one for following rules. In fact I think when it comes to life, relationships and everything in between, you should make your own rules. Do what works for you. Do what your heart tells you. But I still can't wrap my head around the idea of an open relationship. I personally think that if the discussion should arise in my personal situation it would be a reason to call off the relationship. Because the truth is I'm looking for that long lasting foreverness and I think it's hard to find now days. Who knows if we'll ever be happy but the naive person inside of me continues with hope and spirit. Are you open to the idea of an open relationship?! 

Internet Love

The internet has changed the way we live, shop and do business. It has also changed the way people date. As peoples schedules get more and more busy, they have less and less time to find that special someone. I being one of those people took a hand at online dating only to find a super nice and smart man. We went on a first date two days ago. It started with a coffee and couple hours of conversation and getting to know each other. It was nice and innocent. We ended up spending the afternoon/evening together and had dinner. No I feel slightly obsessed. But I feel like I’m repeating a behaviour the first time I meet someone I like so I’m trying to change that behaviour this time around but it’s hard. How do you tell your heart to stop (in the name of love) and take a step back and take it slow and see where it goes. I keep telling myself ‘you just met him two days ago. Calm it.’ But it’s hard. The heart wants what it wants. It’s just a jump of emotions that I can’t help. It has been such a long time since I met someone like him. I think it has been over a year. And so I guess I’m excited that for a change I’m dating someone that’s stable and emotionally available? Date number 3 tomorrow and I’m quite looking forward to it. We’ll see where it goes. Time will tell.  He’s 6 years older than me so that makes me a bit uncertain. I have no problem with the age gap. In fact it’s a non-issue but as he is older it makes me wonder if he may have different priorities. I guess the only way is to let yourself go and find out where the road takes you. I hope somewhere romantic. As I said to him, things happen when you least expect it.

^^melocoton^^